He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
