After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
