just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
