I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
