We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
