I wish my penis had an off switch
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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