ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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