i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize