break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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