you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
