Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
