hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
