and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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