ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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