so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
