how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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