I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Small penises have feelings too.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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