I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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