covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
is it fun? or sober?
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