Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
