Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
