Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
