if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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