So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
