Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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