I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
