ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
