not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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