I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
