Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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