Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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