So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
