she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize