y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
