It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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