can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
