so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful