It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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