I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
