So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
