Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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