Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
