i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
