Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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