I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
