I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
