Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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