I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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