I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
