So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
