can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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