We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
