You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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