I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
