the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
