Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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