Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Can I color on your dick again?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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