Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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