week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
