At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
