Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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