he puts the penis in happiness.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
