So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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