i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my vag is so smooth its legendary
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize