singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
True strength comes from lack of pants
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
