he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
