So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
