its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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