oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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