first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
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I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
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Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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