Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
